Hi...I'm a lesbian and have known that for about a year now. I have a beautiful girlfriend and she asked me to prom. I'd love to go but I'm not out to my parents yet. I'm pretty sure my dad would be fine with it, but I don't think my mum would be. She's a “super Methodist.” She's told me “I personally bear no animosity against gays,” but “I believe that they shouldn't get married in a church. It's against the teachings of the Bible.” It really hurts to think that my own mother wouldn't want me to get married. But what do I do about prom? Should I make up a guy until I get a dress and such and then come out? Or should I take the plunge and do it now? I really, really, REALLY want to go to prom with my girlfriend, but I have no clue how I'm going to do it.
I can tell how giddy you are at the thought of a romantic night out with your beautiful girlfriend, an experience too many gay teens never get to have. Generally speaking, I’m guessing that a last-minute surprise like, “Oh, by the way, Mom, the guy who’s coming to pick me up tonight for the prom is really my girlfriend,” is probably not a good idea! This goes double for “super Methodist” mom who has expressed difficulty fully accepting gay people. Since you suggest that your dad would likely be fine with it, why not start by telling him and asking him for assistance in approaching your mom?
But keep in mind, Tricia, that even if both are able to take in this news without freaking out, you should be prepared for a less-than-favorable reaction to the idea of going to prom with your girlfriend. This is a lot of new and challenging information for your parents to process in a short period of time. And, although you didn’t mention it, I can’t help but wonder how supportive the high school will be to a lesbian couple at the prom. Maybe they’re a lot more progressive in Woodstock, Georgia than one might expect, but are you sure there would be no problem on the school’s end? Maybe it would be wise to consider a back-up plan, just in case. What about the possibility of you and your girlfriend double-dating with two supportive guy friends, or maybe even a gay male couple? Either way, we wish you the best and commend you on your commitment to your girlfriend.