dear trevor,
my name is ty, im 17 years old and i have been trying to find my self for a very very long time and i was wondering am i gay can u help me figure it out??
Signed,
Ty, 17, FL
Dear Ty,
A big part of being a young person—in fact a big part of being a human being—is taken up with “finding oneself.” Figuring out who you are and how you fit in and who you relate to and who you’re attracted to, etc., are all part of creating your identity, something which is, in fact, an ongoing process that will continue throughout your life.

The part of your identity that has to do with sexual orientation is something only you can decide for yourself. But maybe it isn’t necessary to make a final decision about it at this point—there’s no law, you know, that says you have to know whether you’re gay, bi or straight by age 17! J How about giving yourself permission not to know for sure right now. Just be aware of how you respond to various guys and girls you know, consider who you find yourself fantasizing about, what kind of person makes your stomach go, “Glunk!” Let all that info register inside you without judging it, and eventually, you will probably develop a sense of who you are sexually.

Of course, you can always give the helpline a call. Our helpline listeners will be happy to spend some time exploring what you’re feeling and experiencing, which might help you come to a clearer sense of who you are right now. Please don’t hesitate to give us a call.

Trevor