I have just started dating this really cool girl and she has no idea I'm bisexual and I enjoy the company of other guys. I'm not entirely sure she will understand. All of my friends know and they all have promised not to tell her. Although I have not had a realationship with another guy I am attracted to them. I dont know if I should tell her, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I need some advice A.S.A.P.
Believe it or not, this is a pretty common predicament: when is the right time to reveal to a person I like something about myself that s/he might not understand? Do I wait until s/he gets to know me better (and, I hope, will be less likely to reject me) or do I get it over with right up front, before I develop really strong feelings for this person? Unfortunately, no one can answer that question for you. But you can ask yourself some questions that might clarify the situation for you. For example, since you “just started dating” her, is there some particular reason you feel that, at this stage of the game, she needs to know this about you? Might this information wait until you get to know each other better and you have a better sense of how she might respond? On the other hand, it sounds like you’re pretty OK with being bisexual (given that all your friends know this about you), so how will it be for you to keep this important aspect of who you are hidden from someone you care about? Ultimately, of course, if you hope to have a close, meaningful relationship with her, it will be important to be open with her about who you are. And maybe, if she’s as “cool” as you say she is, she’ll find this information just makes you all the more fascinating!