I'm really glad you found The Trevor Project’s website and that, as it sounds, you are using us as you learn more about yourself as a gay young man. The ache of depression and loneliness is something that most people, gay and straight, experience at some point in their lives. But it can feel harder to be gay and a young man dealing with the depression that often goes along with feelings of loneliness.

I'm wondering what your experience has been that tells you that other guys don't like you. Have people expressed this to you, or have you been assuming that this is how others feel? Maybe what would be most helpful for you right now would be to continue to work on you—on learning to love and respect yourself as a gay man who is just as good and valuable as the other guys around you. The more you believe this about yourself, the more other potential friends and/or boyfriends will see this and be attracted to you.

Have you looked into gay youth resources and groups in your area? Being with such groups can help with depression and loneliness, not to mention give you an opportunity to meet more people and gain confidence in your ability to be yourself and attract others to you. I know that not all areas in the US have such groups, but you might call The Trevor Helpline at 866.4.U.TREVOR (866.488.7386) as a first step in locating some of these helpful resources. Our helpline is also a place where you can discuss your depression and your options in working through the sadness you feel.

It can be hard to wait for people to come into our lives with whom we feel we can truly relate. But while it may be a lonely time for you right now, Zack, remember that there are young gay men like yourself in towns and cities everywhere who are looking for others they can relate to. Hold onto that thought because someday—maybe sooner than you might think—you will find these people.

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