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How to take care of yourself when times are difficult

BY: Trevor News
An illustration of a person sitting cross-legged with purple and white stars around them
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We know the world is challenging, even more so for the LGBTQ+ community and for LGBTQ+ young people in particular. Too often these days we are bombarded with overwhelming news and never-ending feeds of harmful, anti-LGBTQ+ messaging. For many, social media only exacerbates negative feelings, as well as societal pressures which tell LGBTQ+ youth how to look, how to think, how to feel, and how to be.

Everything can feel like it’s moving so fast and that, paired with the unique challenges LBGBTQ+ people are often faced with, makes rest so much more than just a break. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is take a pause and give ourselves a chance to breathe.

Today, let’s take a moment to talk about self care.

What is self-care? (And what is it not?)

Self-care, most simply, refers to things that you do to improve physical and/or mental wellness. Self-care is not always luxurious vacations, pricey yoga classes, or visits to an extravagant spa. Self-care is not limited to activities that cost money. For example, self-care is synonymous with rest, which is something all human beings need.

To be clear: Rest isn’t a reward. It isn’t something to be earned or something that one has to be “productive” in order to enjoy. It’s necessary. It’s healing. It’s something we all need to take time for.

What are simple forms of self-care I can do?

It can be challenging to find time for self-care during our busy day-to-day life. We often move fast and keep moving without intentional rest, until we end up burned out. People often act as if self-care requires a serious time investment in order to “count” or be effective. However, some forms of rest are simple and take just a few minutes or less of focus.

Rest can look like:

  • Closing your eyes for a minute
  • Muting your notifications or turning on DnD
  • Sitting in the sun with your animal companion
  • Asking a trusted person for support
  • Reminding your body that you are safe

Your needs matter. Your well-being matters. These small things might not completely restore you, but they are steps in an ongoing journey of taking better care of ourselves every day.

How can you incorporate rest into your everyday life?

How does community connect to self-care?

Self-care does not need to be something that you do alone, nor are you responsible for carrying all your pains and anxieties in solitude. Community care is self-care with other people and it’s a healing we both give and receive.

Community care can look like:

  • Texting a trusted friend
  • Checking in on someone you care about
  • Spending time with chosen family
  • Joining a safe online community
  • Sharing a meal or snack

For many of us, giving kindness and support is much easier than accepting it from others. Healing happens in connection and you are entitled to community even when you are feeling low or when you aren’t feeling your best.

What can you do to engage in community care?

What do I need to remind myself about rest?

It’s important to remember that self-care and rest look different for everyone. Experiences, identities, culture, disability, race, faith, gender, and sexuality can all shape what care feels like. What feels restorative for one person might be exhausting to another. There is no one-size-fits-all version of healing.

The best self care is the kind that meets you where you are. Give yourself permission to choose what actually helps and not what you think you’re supposed to choose.

For times when more help is needed, the Trevor Project is here. Our free, secure, 24/7 support services are always available for LGBTQ+ young people. You can call 1-866-488-7386, text ‘START’ to 678-678, or visit trvr.org/Help to get started.

You can also connect with LGBTQ+ peer community on TrevorSpace, or visit our website www.TheTrevorProject.org to explore mental health resources and self-care guides.

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