Youth's Lives Every Day
Every day, LGBTQ+ young people face bullying at school, online, and even within their own friend groups and family units — often being told by adults to “ignore them” or “hold on, they’ll stop eventually.” But what if we stopped teaching queer youth how to endure bullying, and started teaching communities how to intervene and prevent bullying in the first place? Much of the conversation around bullying centers on teaching those who experience bullying how to survive it. This National Bullying Prevention Month, our anti-bullying guide explores what bullying looks like and how it affects LGBTQ+ youth; what it takes to make schools, communities, and online spaces safer; and some practical strategies for combatting bullying.
Bullying at its core is unwanted, aggressive behavior that typically involves a real, or perceived, power imbalance. It can happen in almost any social group setting. In-person bullying, also known as traditional bullying, shows up in ways like teasing, name-calling, physical altercations, and/or being excluded from groups. And in our evolving digital age, cyberbullying — the spreading of rumors or hurtful comments on social media, being left out of group chats, sharing of sensitive information online — is more prevalent than ever. And LGBTQ+ young people see real impacts from bullying, with 38% of LGBTQ+ students aged 13-18 reported being bullied in person at school in the past year. Those LGBTQ+ youth who reported being bullied had 3x greater odds of attempting suicide than those who were not.
Bullying won’t go away overnight, but if all of us do our part, we can address the root of the problem and create safe, supportive environments at home, in schools, and online — rather than putting the responsibility on those being bullied to be “stronger.” It is important to note that there is no “right” way to respond. Everyone has different comfort levels, and you never have to put yourself in an unsafe or stressful situation to help. The goal is to find an approach that feels safe, realistic, and right for you.
Here are a few simple things to keep in mind when dealing with bullying. We’ve separated the list into two sections: one for people who feel comfortable speaking up or stepping in, and another for those who prefer a non-confrontational approach.
How to stop bullying without confrontation
- Get help: If you’re worried things could get risky or overwhelming, bring in a trusted adult. You don’t have to handle the situation alone.
- Redirect the conversation: Change the topic to something else. This can interrupt what’s happening without turning it into a confrontation — and shows the person who is bullying that you’re not going to feed into their energy.
- Stick around: Sometimes, simply staying near the person being targeted can make a huge difference. It lets them know they aren’t alone.
- Check in after the bullying has occurred: Even a simple “Are you okay?” or “Do you want to talk?” can go a long way. Even if you couldn’t stop what happened in the moment, showing up afterward still matters.
How to help when you feel safe speaking up
- Don’t join in: Even if the bullying is framed as a joke or someone says they’re “just messing around,” don’t join in. Making light of the moment or piling on can make the person being bullied feel even more isolated.
- Speak up, safely: Challenge harmful comments or behavior while being cognizant of not adding fuel to an intense situation. You don’t need to match someone’s energy. If the situation feels volatile or unpredictable, get another safe person involved.
- Report what you see: Use your school’s reporting systems or the tools available on social media and other platforms. Reporting harmful behavior can help make sure it doesn’t continue unchecked.
- Let them know they’re not alone: Find a time during or after the event of bullying to let the person know that you want to support them. Isolation empowers bullying and having community helps people feel safer.
Feel free to rework or adapt these ideas to match your comfort level and safety. This is not a comprehensive list and there are many ways to get involved without putting yourself or others at risk.
Bullying causes real harm. It can impact a young person’s mental health, sense of belonging, physical safety, and desire to go to school in the first place. National Bullying Prevention Month is a reminder of our responsibility as a community and that safety is something we build together so that bullying isn’t inevitable. We hope these tips give you real-world tools you can use at school, on the field, in church, or in any other social environments you find yourself in — even online. Together we can take action to stop bullying when we see it and help create spaces where everyone feels safe, respected, and included.
