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Coming Out Stories from Our Community

BY: Ryan Bernsten

For Coming Out Day, we asked our community and LGBTQ young people about their coming out stories. What they shared proves that coming out is different from person to person, and that no matter what, everyone deserves to come out how and if they want.

Share your coming out story:

When I first came out to my mom, she said “omg me too!” and the same thing happened with my best friend.

I wrote a letter to my mom and left to go to my friend’s house, and told her to call me once she read it 🙂

I just hung a lot lesbian memes all around the house.

I did a survey online during Pride Month, and I discovered the term asexual. It made a lot of sense.

Someday I will and life will be better!

I can’t and I’Il never be able to… but proud of all of you from the shadows.

I was in the car with my mom and we were talking and I just slipped in there that I was bi.

I haven’t come out with my gender identity though, just sexuality.

Low key, I came out on accident by making an asexual joke about myself.

I don’t have any family or anyone to really come out to, so one day I just decided to be out.

It was during the pandemic and throughout that I figured out that I am pan.

There wasn’t really a coming out. My parents just always kinda knew I’d be trans/bisexual.

I came out last summer and got kicked out but a year later, my family came around 🙂

The first person I came out to was my brother. He was extremely supportive.

I texted my friends and they bought me a trans flag and I showed it to my mom.

I wrote a paragraph on a chalkboard and waited for someone to notice.

I came out as a lesbian and my parents said “I know.”

Haven’t come out yet; I have only come out to my sister because I know she is very supportive!

I came out to my Spanish teacher today, she said she loved me and accepted me.

I told my parents I’m bi & my dad goes “okay does that mean you’ll watch football with me?”

I came out as bi to some of my friends over FaceTime. They just said “join the club!”

I didn’t, but I will, at the time I’ll be able to, and it will be a rebirth.

I literally went “I’m trans, darling” and that was it haha.

My friends were all very supportive and learned new names and pronouns.

I told my brother I was trans while I cried. He accepted me right away with no hesitation.

I was in the car with my family and I just say hey I’m nonbinary and made my family confused.

I casually told my dad (who didn’t know) I had a crush on a girl, turns out he’s closeted (bi).

I had come home from school on the bus after figuring out I had a crush on my best friend.

How can allies be supportive? 

Match the energy of the person coming out to you: be excited if they’re excited!!

Be someone that someone can fall back on if things go bad.

Be supportive up front.

Help their friends with it, loved ones perhaps. People need support with this stuff.

Make sure you are open about the fact you are supportive, make it clear.

Be completely open to listening and learning about different identities.

Show acceptance about being queer.

Have our backs and defend us if needed 🙂

Show support in their ACTIONS, not just their words!

If they have difficulty remembering pronouns and/or sexuality terms it’s okay to ask!

Be respectful and listen to everything that is said to them. ask questions, don’t make assumptions.

Listen, don’t ask a hundred questions or be interrogating, educate yourself.

Don’t pressure someone or make them feel like they have to come out or they’re lying.

What advice would you give to someone considering coming out?

There’s no rush and no right way.

Coming out is a lifelong process. Stay the course as it does get easier!

You don’t have to pick a label and your labels can change! Labels are meant to

serve you and you alone.

Be gentle with yourself.

If they still don’t accept you, they aren’t worth it.

You do not owe ANYONE a label or reason! Allow yourself to live with the freedom of confidence.

Start with people who you know are going to support you. BUILD A SUPPORT

SYSTEM!! You don’t owe anyone the right to know about your sexuality. My closest people know, but others don’t.

Don’t rush it! You have time.

Always make sure you are in a safe environment first or have a safety plan if you think things may go badly

Practice beforehand, in a mirror, on paper, or to a friend.

Always make sure you are in a safe environment first or have a safety plan if you think things may go badly

Practice beforehand, in a mirror, on paper, or to a friend.

There isn’t going to be that picture perfect moment. Only do so once you’re ready.

Have a back-up plan in case things go south.

If you’re too nervous to come out alone, get a good friend to sit next to.

Test the waters. If you’re unsure if someone is supportive, try to find out if they do before you do anything.

You have your own timeline and you don’t have to rush coming out. 

Make sure you’re in a safe place! Don’t overthink it either 🙂

Make sure you come out to someone you trust and you know will support you.

No matter what the reactions are, don’t change because you want people to like you.

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