Youth's Lives Every Day
By: Jaymes Black, CEO of The Trevor Project
Tommy Dorfman (she/her) is an Atlanta-born Brooklyn-based writer, director, and actor. Her debut feature film, I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, premiered at SXSW in 2024 and will be theatrically distributed in 2025.
As an actor she made her Broadway debut in Sam Gold’s Romeo and Juliet at Circle in the Square in 2024, and is known best for her work in Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why. Her production company, Down the Line, launched in 2024 and is focused on shining a light on various human experiences not yet told in film, television, and theater. She holds a BA from Fordham University, is the recipient of a GLAAD Award, and loves being gay.
I caught up with Tommy to talk about her first book, Maybe This Will Save Me, and the impact she hopes it will have on LGBTQ+ young people.
Jaymes: Congratulations on the new memoir! Without giving too much away, what can your readers expect when they pick up your book?
Tommy: Thank you! Readers can expect an uncensored and raw investigation of my childhood, teen years, and early adulthood. There’s a lot of focus on mental health and recovery, romance, and starting my career as an actress, writer, and director. Interwoven in these vignettes are deep musings and explorations of my gender and sexual evolution, of course.
Jaymes: What messages and feelings do you hope LGBTQ+ young people will walk away with after reading your memoir?
Tommy: That if they are struggling with identity, addiction, or intimacy, they are not alone. So much is left unknown for queer youth and I’m hopeful that young people can learn from some of my mistakes and misguided attempts to find fulfillment.
Jaymes: With a successful career in acting, directing, and writing, your schedule can be pretty demanding sometimes. How do you find time to prioritize yourself and take care of your mental health?
Tommy: For me, I have to prioritize my mental health, sobriety, and overall well-being, which consists of staying close with my community and support system. I’ve learned that the worst possible thing I can do for my safety is isolate, so I remain available to those around me and practice asking for help and support when I need it.
Jaymes: A strong support system can help people maintain a robust professional and personal life. Can you tell us more about your support system?
Tommy: My support system consists of close friends, a 12-step recovery program, my parents, and a therapist.
Jaymes: Please share some inspiring words for the LGBTQ+ young people who might be reading this.
Tommy: I love you. There is no roadmap we’re supposed to follow in this life; all we can do, especially when the world feels overwhelming and impossible, is slow down and take things one step at a time.
